We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
