Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
