does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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