what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
