Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
