Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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