her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
