Absence makes the cock grow harder.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
