So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
