you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize