and i looked up. we had an audience...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
