5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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