Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
