weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She announced her abortion via fbk
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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