He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
