my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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