Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
