Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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