I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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