I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
