I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
