we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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