just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I am naked and annoyed.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize