I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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