i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize