i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Found your dick twin last night
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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