you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
