Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
