i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm bleeding and have questions
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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