24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
