Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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