this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
