It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
