He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
