That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
