you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
