Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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