i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
