i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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