Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
