So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize