I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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