nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
