SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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