I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize