I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
