Can Purell be used as lube?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
