btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
