I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
