So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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