She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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