I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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