Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Sober January is a disaster.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
