Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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