btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
