Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I faked an abortion last night.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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