the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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