So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
