haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
