Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize