In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
