I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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