I wish i was in the wii world.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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