Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
