Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
