I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i think i just lost a toe
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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