he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
