That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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