I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
