Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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